If you're like me, you were forced to read “The Heart of Darkness” by Joseph Conrad in high school literature class. If you're really like me, you found it grimly intriguing despite being forced to read it. If you're exactly like me, you went on to watch “Apocalypse Now” a number of years later after shooting a bunch of cans in the back yard of a house outside London with an air pistol while smoking Cuban cigars lit by a souvenir Chairman Mao lighter that played “Star of the Orient” every time you opened it. But if anyone out there is that much like me, that would be even creepier than the story.

“Heart of Darkness” is about an English sailor who goes up-river in Africa to bring back a mad genius named Kurtz, who has turned himself into a jungle warlord complete with an army of devoted natives and a fence of severed heads.

“Apocalypse Now” is about an American soldier who goes up-river in Vietnam to assassinate a mad Special Forces colonel named Kurtz, who also has an army of devoted natives and is also really into severed heads. So as you can see, it's pretty much the same story.

One difference with the original book is the soundtrack, which features the epic Doors song “The End” during the assassination scene. The whole thing is undeniably improved by the addition of some Cuban cigars, an air pistol and a bottle of bourbon, but it's still pretty entertaining the way it is.